By Dara Poznar
My to-do list is so long that I have to carry it around in a collapsible tupperware container. My mind is full of world-saving ideas, meal plans, fitness plans, social plans, writing projects, endless worries, birthdays and images of the mud pie I am craving but will hate myself for eating. I have, however, already determined my coping strategy for my impending guilt over that mud pie-one extra yoga class this week. Glad that is out of the way.
Not the sexiest vision, I know. I sometimes notice that myself in between reading recipes, researching, writing, downward dog, pondering the meaning of life, and generally living. I often go through the motions of my day’s schedule, as we all do, and suddenly realize that I have completely buried my sexual, sensual, self underneath it all. Sometimes weeks (or sadly even months) go by without my really being connected to my sexuality. It is important to note that I am not referring to how often or not sex happens. Sexual desire is something different and comes with its own joys and benefits. I am talking about being connected with and aware of the part of myself that is a sexual being, and being synced with and charged by that energy on a regular basis.
I am a woman. I just love saying that. And I love being a woman and everything that has to do with my womanliness. There is no good reason not use that appreciation in my life! Too often I have let myself get too busy to nurture and caress my womanliness and the sexual nature of it. When I am connected to my womanliness and sexuality, I feel on top of the world. When I am harnessing my sexual energy I feel more confident & motivated, more secure in asking for what I want, and more capable of achieving what I set out to do. It also just puts me in an amazing and happy mood! And of course, it often leads to more passionate and intense sexual experiences.
Acknowledging that, it actually now seems tragic that I haven’t focused on keeping my sexual energy alive and flowing all the time. Well, lately I have begun focusing on that and I have found a few simple practices that help me reconnect with my sexual self whenever it has gotten buried under all the other stuff of life. I have added ‘harnessing my sexual energy’ to my daily to do list, as I know it can only help improve my health, quality of life, relationships, and overall enjoyment of living. Life is meant to be fun, and as far as I am concerned, human sexuality is one of the most fun parts about it!
These are 5 things I do that help me open up the channels to my sexual energy:
1. Being naked: Yes, it can really be that simple. I find that when I get up in the morning I often just jump from my pajamas in and out of the shower and straight into other clothes and then back into my pajamas at night. I find that being always covered up makes me forgetful about my sexual self. What better reminder than being naked? When I am naked I move differently. I am more graceful and softer with myself. These are actions that put me in touch with my femininity, which puts me in touch with my sexuality.
2. Loving my body: This part is two-fold. First, I have found it useful to identify the specific things about my body that I love. Each of our bodies is different. No two bodies are exactly the same. Each of us is physically unique and that is so wonderful! I have a very long neck and it makes me feel beautiful. I have a mole on my back that I really like. I have very soft skin. I take time to admire these and other things about my body and as I do the sexual energy begins to flow. Second, I believe that loving my body also means taking proper care of it. For me this translates to eating right and getting adequate exercise. In this way I am honoring my body. In my opinion, there are few things sexier than a nurtured healthy body.
3. Flirting: This is one of my favorite things to do and I wish I remembered to do it more! Flirting is fun and energizing for all parties involved. This is an instant sexual energy charger that can be used any time! I love sending my fiancé seductive text messages while he is at work. I know it will have a positive effect on him, and it certainly does on me. It’s an instant good mood creator. Not to mention what it will do for us.
4. Laughing: Laughter is such a powerful tool in so many ways, and aiding in creating sexual energy is just one of them. For me, laughter brings me out of my head and back into my body as I feel and enjoy the physical effects of laughter. And they feel marvelous. I love laughing. I think I could easily do it all day long.
5. Dressing for it: My choice in clothing has a huge effect on whether or not I am able to get and keep the sexual energy flowing. I don’t have to be wearing anything others would perceive as looking sexy. I have to feel sexy, as well as feminine & comfortable, in what I am wearing. For me this might mean wearing my favorite gray sweatshirt, skinny jeans, and chucks. That happens to be one of my favorite outfits to wear on a weekday as I write away at my local coffee shop.
So there you go! These five things have helped me get and stay in touch with myself as a feminine sexual being. I recognize and truly value the benefits of tapping into my sexual energy and using it in my daily life. I hope you do, too!